Services - Nichola Crawford Counselling & Psychotherapy

Very often when people are considering going to see a counsellor for the first time they may ask:

Is my problem too small?

Is my problem too big?

Will counselling help?

My response to all of those questions is that we are all individuals and we all struggle with different issues at different times in our lives. Your issues are unique to you and you deserve the space and respect to deal with the things that are concerning you. Whether this is your first time to seek counselling or you have previously worked with a therapist, I believe passionately that the quality of the client/ therapist relationship creates the conditions in which you can achieve deep and lasting change in your life.

The following is a list of some of the issues that I have worked with clients to overcome:

Click on each heading for more information

Anxiety

Anxiety is an everyday feeling. It can be a normal emotional response to many stressful situations. Anxiety can become a problem when there is no obvious reason for it or when anxious feelings persist for more than a couple of weeks. Anxiety can have a variety of effects. Physical effects include sweating, sleep disturbances, poor concentration, increased heart rate and breathing. Emotional effects include irritability, worrying that something bad is about to happen, asking a lot of questions and needing constant assurance.

I help clients overcome anxiety issues by helping them explore what triggers their anxiety. These triggers are deeply personal and are different for everyone. By identifying what situations or people trigger your anxiety, together we can explore ways of reducing feelings of anxiety.

Addiction

Addiction means not being able to control doing, taking or using something. This can be to the point where it is harmful to you and is having a negative impact on those around you. Addiction can be to a substance or a behaviour including:

A strong desire or compulsion to take the substance
Continuing even when you know it is harmful
Giving up other activities that are not related to using/ behaviour
Neglecting other areas of your life including relationships, your health, career or studies

I help clients to overcome addiction by helping them to fully understand the nature of their personal addiction. We work together to develop a strategy to overcome the behaviour and we also look at conditions which may be maintaining the addiction such as a lack of self-esteem, history of trauma or feelings of isolation.

Relationship Difficulties

No matter what age we are, we all have relationships which shape our lives and can influence how we see ourselves. When the relationships in our lives are harmonious they provide a source of great comfort and joy to us. All relationships have their ups and downs but when communication and mutual respect have broken down, relationships can be a cause of enormous pressure in our lives. Relationship difficulties can include:

Marital problems
Workplace issues resulting in bullying by colleagues
Sibling rivalry
Breakdown in communication between parents and children (regardless of age)
Loss of friendship
Feelings of loneliness and isolation

I help clients overcome their own particular relationship difficulties by helping them to gain clarity around what exactly are the dynamics of the relationship and how they are reacting to that. Ultimately we explore how this affects the most important relationship of all, the relationship with themselves.

Abuse

Abuse can take many forms. Some types of abuse are more obvious than others. The four most common types of abuse are:

Emotional abuse
Sexual abuse
Physical abuse
Neglect

Abuse can happen against anyone. It can happen against women, children, men, young and old. Anyone can be an abuser. There are many different kinds of abuse but it is always about having power and control over you. If someone is hurting you in any way it can be very frightening and it may be difficult to know how to stop it. For the abuser to be someone you love can only add to the sense of isolation and confusion. A person may no longer be living in an abusive situation and the abuse may have occurred many years ago. Even if this is the case, the emotional effects of the abuse can still be very real and affect how we live and relate to other people in our lives today.

When I work with people who are or have been abused it is always with a view to supporting that person to make whatever changes they may want to make. There is no agenda and no judgement of them or the situation they find themselves in. Very often people who have been abused in some way have had their trust abused and may be experiencing many emotions including guilt, shame, anger and helplessness. The process of building a therapeutic relationship with me may be slow but in doing that I allow individuals to regain trust in themselves. Gradually, they can explore how this abuse has impacted them and how they can respond to it in a way that is safest and most beneficial to them.

Sexuality

Sexual identity and sexual orientation are part of what makes you who you are. Sexual orientation is your sexual preference for people of the same or opposite sex, or to both sexes. We can define sexual identity as the label that you might use to let others know who you are as a sexual being. Sometimes relationships can be a source of pressure for people. You can feel pressure to be someone that you’re not or to do things that you are unsure about. This can put a strain on your mental health. How comfortable we are about expressing our sexuality can be influenced by many factors, including:

The family we grew up in and their attitudes to sex and sexuality
Our religious beliefs and background
Society’s expectations of what is considered acceptable
Unrealistic portrayal of body images and sexual behaviour in magazines, in advertisements and in pornography

Our sexual identity and how we choose to express it is deeply personal. Whether we are straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or intersex we are constantly being bombarded with opinions on how we “should” behave sexually. I work with people to help them to filter out the voices and opinions of those around them and to focus on their own voice and what it is telling them. We explore the source of any guilt, shame, feelings of inadequacy or just plain confusion surrounding their sexuality. Working in a non-judgemental and supportive environment a person can explore how they feel, who they are and how they wish to express that to the world.

Depression

Everyone goes through tough times at different points in their lives. Feeling sad or fed up is a normal reaction to these experiences. At other times you may feel sad or fed up for no obvious reason. Telling the difference between normal sadness and depression can be difficult. Depression describes more severe, longer lasting feelings of sadness or low mood. You may experience some of the following:

Depressed mood most of the day
Change in sleeping pattern
Weight changes
Decreased energy levels
Excessive feelings of guilt
Poor concentration
Thoughts of death
Loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities

Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is not something that you can “snap out of” by “pulling yourself together”. Symptoms of depression include:

Feeling sad, hopeless and losing interest in things you used to enjoy
You experience symptoms for at least two weeks
Symptoms are serious enough to interfere with work, social life and family life

If you suspect that you may be suffering from depression a good first step is to talk to your GP. Medication of various types can be very beneficial in alleviating the symptoms of depression. I work with people who are currently taking prescribed medication and those who are not. If you are taking prescribed medication and are choosing to also engage in therapy, do not stop taking your medication. It is perfectly fine to work with me and to continue to work with your doctor in managing your medication. I seek to support the person fully in finding the best way forward for them.

I work with people who are feeling depressed by helping them to articulate exactly how it is they are feeling. We explore developing practical strategies to use day-to-day to improve how they feel. When a person feels ready we can explore whether there is an underlying cause of the depression and if there is a more deep-seated emotional issue to be resolved.

Self-esteem/ Building Confidence / Self-acceptance

Self-esteem is how you feel about your own worth and personal value. We are all different but one thing we all have in common is that no-one is perfect. If you have difficulty accepting yourself for who you are, it can impact on your mental health. One way to work towards accepting yourself is by building self-confidence. I help you to build self-esteem by helping you to filter out the negative self-talk that affects almost all of us at some point in our lives. Together, we examine exactly what your negative beliefs and worries about yourself are. We look at trying to understand where they could have come from. We have so many influences in our lives including family, religion and society. By understanding what our negative self-talk is and how it developed gives us the freedom to then move forward in a different direction. We can challenge those beliefs and can focus on those parts of ourselves that we do like and allow those parts to flourish. There is beauty in everyone if we just take the time to look. By focusing on your own positive values you can start to make decisions about your life based on what you need rather than what you or other people think you “should” do. You can learn how to accept yourself and all your unique traits and gifts.

Bereavement and Loss

The loss of a loved one is difficult and can trigger a dip in your mental health. There is no right or wrong way to experience loss or to grieve. Although the loss of a loved one is perhaps the most obvious example of bereavement we all suffer many types of loss in our lifetime:

We may experience the loss of a partner through marital breakdown
We may have to deal with pre-grief when we or someone close to us receives a diagnosis of terminal or life-changing illness
Being abandoned by a parent
A miscarriage or stillbirth
The loss of a pet
Job redundancy
When a close family member suffers from dementia and we grieve the loss of the person we once knew
Infertility
New or chronic illness or disability

All of the above can bring about feelings of grief such as:

This can be further complicated by a lack of understanding of these feelings from those around us. Experiencing a miscarriage or the breakdown of a marriage may not be met with the same level of understanding and sympathy as, say, a loved one dying.

Grief is a process that affects us physically, emotionally and mentally. The loss may be very recent or it may have been with us for many years, even from childhood. I help people to come to terms with their grief and loss by allowing them the freedom to fully express the extent of their loss. Very often when someone has experienced a loss they may try to put on a “brave face” to spare the feelings of those around them. By having the opportunity to talk openly and freely you can find a way forward in your life.

General Counselling

Every so often in everyone’s life we can experience periods when we just seem to be feeling flat, lacking motivation and generally lacking a full engagement with our life. We may be looking to change something in our life and not know exactly what the change is or how to go about getting there. We may not be able to point to an exact problem situation but nonetheless are feeling some degree of unease. We may simply want to examine how our personality and life experiences affect our thoughts, feelings, relationships and behaviour. I work with you to identify the areas of your life that you would like to change or relationships that you would like to improve including the one with yourself. By gaining clarity and deep understanding of your life you can move to a place of feeling more in control of your life.

Stress

Stress is a feeling that is created when you react to certain events. It is the body’s way of preparing you to meet a situation with heightened awareness. This is a normal part of our body’s functioning. The human body responds to events that provoke stress by activating the nervous and hormonal systems. This stimulation speeds up the heart rate, increases blood pressure and is designed to help you react quickly to handle pressure in the moment. Stress can become a problem when the degree of stress is out of proportion to the situation or when there is no apparent reason for the stress. Stress affects us physically, mentally and emotionally:

Feeling emotionally overwhelmed
Irritable and wound up
Feeling anxious and fearful
Having difficulty concentrating
Racing thoughts and constant worrying
Headache, difficulty sleeping
Drinking or smoking more in an attempt to manage symptoms

Situations that may cause one person feelings of being overstressed may not have the same effect on another person. Situations may include:

I work with people to deal with their stress by exploring ways to manage the physical, mental and emotional elements of their stress. By gaining an understanding of what can be a very frightening and debilitating experience you can take back control of your life. I help you to develop various strategies to deal with difficult situations and relationships. We can also work on trying to understand the origins of your stress and how previous life experiences affect how we cope with day-to-day life in the here and now.

Isolation and Loneliness

There are times in everyone’s life when we feel lonely or isolated. We may feel lonely standing in a crowded room. You may feel emotionally cut off from those around you. Many life events can make us feel isolated and alone. We may feel like we are the only one who has ever gone through this. We may feel that we don’t deserve to reach out for help and admit that we are struggling. Feelings of shyness and social anxiety may hold us back from connecting with those around us. Situations that may contribute to feelings of loneliness include:

Bereavement
Unemployment/ retirement
Friends or family leaving home or moving away
Moving away from home
Loss of health/ mobility
Breakdown in relationships
Feeling inadequate when viewing other people’s social media posts
Caring for a relative

I work with clients to look at how feelings of isolation and loneliness are affecting them. We work together to find out what is causing those feelings and from that, we develop solutions to overcome these feelings. We can look at practical things you can do such as pursuing new interests, reconnecting with old friends and getting active. Feeling needed and useful is important so we can look at perhaps volunteering.

I also work with people at a deeper level to find out how low self-esteem and lack of confidence may be contributing to feelings of loneliness. We look at how existing relationships are affecting how you view yourself and the world around you. I always work gently and at a pace that suits you. You are not alone in feeling alone. Acknowledging that you feel lonely is the first step in regaining a sense of connection with your own life and those in it.

Anger Issues

As human beings, we all experience a spectrum of emotions. These range from joy and happiness to guilt and shame along with everything in between. Our emotions provide us with important feedback on how we are feeling about ourselves and our relationship with the world around us and those in it. Anger is one of those emotions. Anger can be a difficult emotion to express and manage. Anger is a necessary emotion that everyone experiences. Dealing with our anger in a healthy way ensures that we don’t harm ourselves or anybody else. Anger in itself is not a bad thing but what you do with your anger matters. Feeling angry may be telling us any number of things:

We may be feeling we are being treated unfairly
We may feel we have no control in our lives
We are struggling to cope with a traumatic event
Experiencing unwanted changes in our life

We may have been brought up to believe that expressing anger is a bad thing and that our anger doesn’t matter and that we have no right to feel angry about things. We may have grown up with very angry people who bullied and belittled us. As a result, anger can often be accompanied by feelings of guilt and shame at feeling angry in the first place. Bottling it up and not expressing it can create problems. This can lead to outbursts of anger that can lead us to harming ourselves or other people. Violence is never the solution. Because anger is very often viewed as a negative emotion, to admit that you have a problem managing your anger in a healthy way is a very brave first step. I work with you in developing strategies that you can use on a day-to-day basis to manage your anger in a healthier way. I also work with you to understand your anger and how past experiences have shaped how you deal with your anger. You can learn that letting out anger does not have to be aggressive. You can learn that while you may not be able to control what situations make you angry, you have complete control over how you respond to them.

“What I am is good enough if only I would be it openly.”

Carl Rogers

“We don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are.”

Anais Nin

“Be yourself, everyone else is taken.”

Oscar Wilde

Contact me today to learn more

Contact me Today